Day 28th September
Wednesday September 27th 2006, 5:19 pm
Filed under: Jurnal

"Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate Shy and reserved. Secretive.  Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Great kisser. Easily angered.  Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness.  Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Observant and assesses others.  If you repost this in the next 5 mins, you will meet your new love in 8 days. "

Yup.. believe it or not.. that’s me.. Baby MArch.. muahahah… half of it is true.. half of it is boguss la…Tapi..tak tau la orang lain kata about me kan?.. But then, I dont give a damn about what they say la… they can say all they want… lagipun these people bukan kenal mcik Sgt pun… tapi mulut.. kalah mulut tempayan kat umah arwah Wan mcik tu… tak padan dengan diri sendiri. Kadang-kadang nak jer bagi cermin kat mereka2 yang berasa baguih ni..tengok diri sendiri.. awak tu bagus sgt ker sampai nak mengata kat orang.. isk..isk… terlebih emo lak bulan posa ni!.. muahaha

Nak taruk gambar kat sini tak boleh dah… sbb utk September.. mcik dah abis 50 photos that can be uploaded.. heheheh… so kita bercerita jer la..

Hari Selasa ari tu mcik buka posa kat umah kawan, Meera. Menu??.. pergh byk giler.. macam2 lak tu… Lauk : kurma daging, rendang ati/limpa,ikan terubuk bakar, pecal, sayur goreng, Kuih : kuih lopes, cara lauk, kuih timba, kuih india ( tak hingat nama la… aiseh..). Air : air soya panas anda air tebu sejuk. Sedap.. lepas makan kenyang tersandar… ada plak massage kepala. adus… tambah stim mata mcik.. layannnnnnnnnnn tido!.. hahahahaha…..

Hari Rabu, mcik dapat panggilan dari geng Convent mcik..mengatakan mak ahli geng, Ida Shaliza Mustafa, telah pulang ke rahmahtullah. So mcik pegi melawat rumah nyer di Kuang. Nasib baik jumpa umah.. heheh..dah lama tak pegi.. hilang arah tujuan sat. Semoga arwah di cucuri rahmat dan ditempatkan di tempat2 orang yg soleha.. Amin….

Ari ni mcik masuk office semula.. punyer la ramai orang mencari..terasa pemes lak! muahahahahahahhaahha



Day 23rd - 24th September
Sunday September 24th 2006, 7:44 pm
Filed under: Jurnal

Wadus…weekend mcik penuh lagik… heheh.. penuh ngan taik mata!!.. hahah.. konon nak kemas umah… tapi tido gak.. kemas sejam.. tido 2 jam!… elok plak ari mendung.. ujan…. pergh..lagik sedap bergulung dlm quilt!….

Img_3074 ari sabtu.. adik angkat mcik datang umah.. dia tidor.. konon nak Img_3072 sahur bersama… apa menu mcik?.. heheh.. masak lemak tempoyak udang!!..ada ikan goreng, sambal belacan, and ulam peria. selera makan kita orang pagi2 buta tu!!.. siap bertambah2 lagik. Adik mcik tu datang sbb mo anto sampel kuih raya.. ala.. kuih raya yg mcik jual ler tu..

Img_3077 ari ahad.. ingat takmo balik klang.. tapi abah call.. mintak masak Img_3075 kan dia mee rebus untuk berbuka posa.. kecian plak rasanya.. so mcik balik gak la klang.. buat kan dia mee rebus.. Lps terawih baru blk umah sendiri.

Anak sedara mcik sumer posa… even si Peyus yang baru 4 tahun dah posa penuh… kagum la gak kan.. heheh.. tapi biasa la.. bebudak.. posa ni mesti ada Img_3079 ganjaran.. pada mcik tu kan satu cara untuk kita melatih kanak2 utk berposa.. sedangkan ada jugak orang tua yg tak tau malu.. tidak berposa..dan dgn selambarnya.. in public makan minum merokok.. isk..isk.. apo nak jadik la kan..

Sekarang ni susah betui nak dapat gula. Mcik ni nak le beli stock gula utk bulan posa ni.. dan raya.. plus nak buat kuih lagik.. isk.. isk… camner?.. kalu ada pun.. ada dia had sorang sebungkus?.. apo pesen ler…



Kuih Raya Di Jual
Sunday September 24th 2006, 7:29 pm
Filed under: Jurnal

Dear Frens….

MCIK JUAL KUIH RAYA!!!..heheheh.. ada yang berminat nak belika??.. boleh contact mcik terus… harga.. utk 50 bijik.. RM20, and 100 bijik.. RM40. Stended harga.. mahal.. sbb gula susah nak cari… plus brg lain pun naik la!.

Almond_london Almond London

AndalusiaAndalusia

Chips_prizzle Chips Prizzle

Choc_chip Choc Chip

Rose_tart Rose Tart

Potato_hazel Potato Hazel

Roda_badam Roda Badam

Cornflakes Cornflakes



Reasons for making / not making love.
Sunday September 24th 2006, 6:15 pm
Filed under: Jurnal
TO MY DEAR WIFE:
During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days. The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often:

54 times the sheets were clean
17 times it was too late
49 times you were too tired
20 times it was too hot
15 times you pretended to be asleep
22 times you had a headache
17 times you were afraid of waking the baby
16 times you said you were too sore
12 times it was the wrong time of the month
19 times you had to get up early
09 times you said weren’t in the mood 07 times you were sunburned
06 times you were watching the late show
05 times you didn’t want to mess up your new hairdo
03 times you said the neighbors would hear us
09 times you said your mother would hear us

Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not satisfactory because:
06 times you just laid there
08 times you reminded me there’s a crack in the ceiling
04 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with
07 times I had to wake you and tell you I finished
01 time I was afraid I had hurt you because I felt you move

TO MY DEAR HUSBAND:

I think you have things a little confused. Here are the reasons you didn’t get more than you did:

05 times you came home drunk and tried to screw the cat
36 times you did not come home at all
21 times you didn’t cum
33 times you came too soon
19 times you went soft before you got in
38 times you worked too late
10 times you got cramps in ! Your toes
29 times you had to get up early to play golf
02 times you were in a fight and someone kicked you in the balls
04 times you got it stuck in your zipper
03 times you had a cold and your nose was running
02 times you had a splinter in your finger
20 times you lost the notion after thinking about it all day
06 times you came in your pajamas while reading a dirty book
98 times you were too busy watching football, baseball, etc.on TV

Of the times we did get together:

The reason I laid still was because you missed and were screwing the sheets. I wasn’t talking about the crack in the ceiling, what I said was"Would you prefer me on my back or kneeling?" The time you felt me move was because you farted and I was trying to breathe.



Day 22nd September
Wednesday September 20th 2006, 8:01 pm
Filed under: Jurnal

hehhe… ni nak citer.. tapi benda yg jd on the 19th… terlambat update blog.. sbb mcik bz buat bajet. Banyak keje… dan juga banyak bajet.. mo boss mcik terberak dalam suar tengok bajet 2007 mcik ni kang!!..

Skypeamanger anyway.. on the 19th.. mcik ada dinner kat Sime Darby Convention Center… ala.. ada Malam Anugerah ***.. rahsia la.. heheheh… anyway.. makan tak sedap!!.. tak ada perisa langsung… tapi mkn gak ler..sbb dah lapar… sapa artis?.. ada NashImg_3052  and sepupu mcik..Liza Hanim. Kecian kat Nash sbb masa nyanyi tu org tgh makan.. so org2 ni mcm tak tgk sgt dia nyanyi.. lebih tumpu pada makan yg tak sedap tu jer.. tapi bila turn liza hani,, siap kena pangey gelek2 lagik… yg lawak nyer.. boss mcik (omputih).. setiap kali liza hanim turun pentas.. dia lari ke meja kami2 di belakang.. muahahah..takut kena pangey ler tu.. ampes!!.. kul 10.30 geng meja mcik (org ofc gak ler) dah panas bontut nak balik.. adus!!.. liza hanim tak abis nnyanyi lagik… buhsan tui la.. tapi sbb dah dtg sevan.. kena gak la mcikImg_3054_1   gerak.. tapi mcik Img_3053and dua rakan.. gerak secara slow motion!. muahahah.. sekali liza hanim pun abis nyanyi… mcik pangey dia..nasib dia kenal mcik.."kak Uda"… so kita org salam2 pewoks2 la.. org lalu lalang pandang beb!!.. hahah.. mcik lak yg terasa glamer!!.. hahahah… so sempat ler bergambar dgn Liza.. 

mlm ni mcik ada dinner lagik.. kat Grand Seasons Hotel, KL.. esok mcik update ek.. eh..kenot… minggu depan.. sbb esok mcik cuti ler..heheheh



LOVE… Secret Recipe…
Wednesday September 20th 2006, 7:41 pm
Filed under: Jurnal

Love1 Love2



Nasihat…
Monday September 18th 2006, 5:51 pm
Filed under: Jurnal

Anda mungkin tidak mempercayainya,

tapi merupakan nasihat yang baik untuk dibaca! Anda mungkin mempelajari sesuatu jika membacanya!!!

PERTAMA.
Bersedekahlah kepada orang lain lebih daripada yang mereka perlukan dan lakukanlah dengan penuh kerelaan.

KEDUA.
Kahwinilah lelaki / wanita yang gemar anda berbicara dengannya, kerana kemahiran berbicara antara satu dengan lain akan menjadi lebih penting pabila usia semakin tua.

KETIGA.
Usahlah mempercayai segala perkara yang anda dengari. Berbelanjalah sekadar apa yang ada atau tidurlah seberapa lama yang anda perlu

KEEMPAT.
Apabila kamu berkata, " Aku Cinta Padamu", maka tunaikanlah.

KELIMA.
Pabila mengatakan, "Maaf", tenunglah matanya.

KEENAM.
Bertunanglah sekurang-kurangnya enam bulan sebelum kamu diijabkabulkan.

KELAPAN.
Usah tertawakan impian orang lain. Manusia tanpa impian tidak memiliki apa-apa.

KETUJUH.
Percayailah cinta pandang pertama.

KESEMBILAN.
Cintailah seseorang dengan sepenuh hati dan penuh kasih sayang. Sungguhpun anda akan berasa seolah-olah diri anda tersiksa, tapi percayalah itulah satu-satunya untuk melengkapkan kehidupan ini.

KESEPULUH.
Jika berlaku perselisihan pendapat, bertengkarlah secara aman. Usahlah menyebut nama sesiapa ketika bertengkar.

KESEBELAS.
Usahlah menilai seseorang berdasarkan peribadi keluarga mereka.

KEDUABELAS.
Berbicaralah dengan tenang dan berfikirlah dengan pantas.

KETIGABELAS.
Apabila seseorang bertanyakan satu soalan yang tidak anda gemari, lontarkanlah senyuman dan bertanyalah padanya,"Kenapa anda ingin tahu?"

KEEMPATBELAS.
Ingatlah bahawa setiap cinta dan pencapaian yang besar akan melibatkan pengorbanan dan risiko yang besar.

KELIMABELAS.
Ucaplah "Semoga anda diberkati" apabila mendengar seseorang bersin.

KEENAMBELAS.
Apabila anda kerugian, janganlah jadi kurang ajar.

KETUJUHBELAS.
Berpeganglah kepada tiga R:
*Rasa hormat pada diri sendiri;
*Rasa hormat kepada orang lain;
*Rasa tanggungjawab terhadap semua tindakan anda

KELAPANBELAS.
Usahlah benarkan pertikaian yang sebesar hama merosakkan sebuah persahabatan yang besar.

KESEMBILANBELAS.
Apabila menyedari bahawa anda telah melakukan kesalahan, usahlah berlengah untuk perbetulkan kesalahan itu.

KEDUAPULUH.
Tersenyumlah ketika menjawab telefon. Pemanggil akan melihatnya daripada
suara yang mereka dengar.

KEDUAPULUH SATU
Ada ketikanya anda perlu bersendirian



Info…
Monday September 18th 2006, 5:50 pm
Filed under: Jurnal

info yang boleh dikongsi bersama kawan2.

· Agar wajah selalu segar, berseri-seri dan cantik,
cucilah minimal 5 kali sehari dengan air wudhu.
Jangan langsung dikeringkan, biarkan menetes dan
kering sendiri. Lalu ambillah sajadah, shalat,
berdzikir, dan berdo’a.

· Untuk menghilangkan stress, perbanyaklah
‘olahraga’. Cukup dengan memperbanyakkan solat.
Ketika solat, kita mengerakkan seluruh tubuh. Lalu
berkonsultasilah pada Allah SWT dengan dzikir dan
do’a.

· Untuk pelembab, agar awet muda, gunakanlah
senyuman. Tidak hanya di bibir tapi juga di hati.
Jangan lupa bisikkan ‘kata kunci’, "Allahuma Kamma
Hassanta Khalqii Fahassin Khuluqii" (Ya Allah
sebagaimana engkau telah memperindah kejadianku,
maka perindah pula ahlaqku). (HR Ahmad).- DOA TENGOK
CERMIN

· Untuk punya bibir cantik, bisikkan
kalimat-kalimat Allah, tidak berbohong atau
menyakiti hati orang lain, tidak menyombongkan diri
atau takabur.

· Agar tubuh langsing, mulus, diet yang teratur
dengan berpuasa seminggu 2 kali, Isnin dan Khamis.
Jika kuat, lebih bagus lagi puasa Nabi Daud AS i.e.
selang satu hari. Makanlah makanan halal, perbanyak
sayuran, buah-buahan, dan air putih.

· Untuk mengembangkan diri, sebarkan salam dan
sapaan. Dengan demikian kita akan banyak dikenal dan
disayangi."



Operator Resign Letter
Sunday September 17th 2006, 11:06 pm
Filed under: Jurnal

JULIANA BANOUS BT CHE ROSS

NO 834,LORONG BAHGIA

TAMAN SEJAHTERA

06600

MUHAMAD YUSOP

PLOT 131A,

JALAN PERINDUSTRIAN BUKIT MINYAK,

14100 BUKIT MINYAK,

SEBERANG PERAI TENGAH,

PENANG.                                                                                                                 

19 DEC 2005

TUAN,

PER : SURAT BERHENTI KERJA

            Saya seperti nama diatas, ingin memohon berhenti kerja. Saya berharap permohonan ini diluluskan. Berikut adalah sebab-musabab saya ingin berhenti kerja:-

  1. Saya kerap dibuli oleh senior.
  2. Makanan di kantin tak sedap tapi mahal macam KFC. Tambahan pula kalau makcik senior yg kira.
  3. Lagu 5’S tidak masuk dalam carta ERA.
  4. Waktu rehat tersangat pendek 15 minit je… Nak beratur pun dah 20 minit!!!
  5.   KERJA BERDIRIIIIIIIIIII………. Kasut takde sponge pulak!!!!!
  6.   Bas kilang tersangat laju…. Tersangat BAHAYA…..
  7. Kalau setakat nak keja kilang, lebih baik tak payah ambil SPM. Indon tak ambil SPM pun boleh keja jugak!!!
  8. Pekerja dipaksa O.T. Ingat kita orang ROBOT ke!!! Kalau tak O.T. ugut nak bagi Warning Letter pulakk…..
  9. Pintu kecemasan dihalang. Bila BOMBA audit baru kalut. KESELAMATAN TIDAK DIUTAMAKAN.
  10. Scan in/out sikit nak masuk kena beratok sampai GAT HOUSE nak bali kena beratok BULEH TAWAF satu kilang..
  11. Pintu keluar masuk 2 shj. Pekerja beribu…. Masuk LATE marah!!! Balik LATE driver BAS pulak marah!!!! sampai rumah mak bapak  pulak yang marah KAMI selalu kena MARAHHHHHH…
  12. Boss kadang 2 ok kadang 2 tension sampai tak ingat 2 yang kami ni orang gak
  13. Faedah 2 lain tak memuaskan contoh keja bagai nak tecabut kepala lutut profet shereing HAMPEHHH
  14. BANYAK LAGI NAK HABAK TAPI KUT TAK SANGUP DENGAK KUT!!!!

Untuk pengetahuan tuan, saya telah berjaya menabung sebanyak RM 1.5 juta selama saya bekerja sebagai operator. Wang itu telah saya laburkan dalam bentuk dinar emas. Setiap bulan, pendapatan saya adalah sebanyak RM890. Inilah faktor utama saya ingin berhenti kerja. Terima kasih atas segala kerjasama …………

tunjuk ajar tuan selama ini dengan saya. Akhir kata, terimalah sebuah pantun MAUTdari saya……..   IKAN KELI.. IKAN KEMBUNG;     ANGKAT   KAKI  LLLAAAMMMBUNG…………… 

                                                                                                                                          

SEKIAN TERIMA KASIH….



10 Tips for Life Partners
Sunday September 17th 2006, 11:01 pm
Filed under: Jurnal

Do you know what all happy and healthy marriages have in common? In every one of them you will find two people committed to making each other happy. You will find a man who cherishes his wife and puts her needs above his own, And you will find a wife who respects and trusts her man. We live in very selfish times. Pop-psychology messages are everywhere in the media encouraging us to love ourselves, Do right by ourselves, and generally please ourselves first. If you really want a happy marriage, Don’t buy into that type of self-centered thinking. Instead, Try these 10 time-tested techniques and experience the happiness, peace, and tranquility of a healthy marriage

1. Make time for each other. It’s so easy in our hyper-busy modern lifestyles to forget to set aside a little time to enjoy each other’s company. Start a weekly tradition of setting a date for the two of you to be together doing something you both enjoy. Keep it simple. Take a nice walk together. Sip coffee together in a cozy coffeehouse. Talk to each other, reminisce, and get to know each other again.

2. Take time off from each other. Give each other space and time to work on hobbies and personal interests. When you have an interesting project to work on, you will feel more fulfilled and you will be a more interesting person.

3. Make little romantic gestures. Remember to compliment your spouse. Leave a little love note for them to find once in awhile. Celebrate the day you first met. Send flowers for no particular reason. You should continuously make little deposits in your spouse’s emotional bank account. The return on your investment will be incredible.

4. Fight fair. Don’t argue in front of other people. Don’t insult each other or each other’s families. Never threaten divorce, and never go to bed angry. Let the little things go, and don’t make a big deal out of every disagreement. Before arguing, think; is this really going to matter in the long run?

5. Take interest in what interests your spouse. Watch their favorite shows with them. Read their favorite book, so you can talk about it with them. Encourage them to develop their talents.

6. Listen to your spouse. Husbands, remember that women need to express their feelings. Be a good sport and just listen. Don’t interrupt, or get distracted. Empathize with her. Let her know that you can relate to what she’s feeling. Ladies, please remember that the kind of talk you might like to have with your husband does not come naturally to most men. Just be patient. It’s not a good idea to "unload" on him right when he comes home from work.

7. Accept your spouse for who they are. Practice total acceptance. Don’t hold your spouse to your expectations; you will only succeed at building resentment.

8. Express your commitment. In little ways, you can, and should, renew your vows to each other over and over. Your spouse will feel comfortable and secure knowing that you are truly committed to the marriage. True closeness will only happen when all doubt and insecurity is replaced by confidence in the relationship. Let your spouse know that you really are in it "till death do us part."

9. Trust in each other. Don’t be suspicious. Don’t snoop through each other’s belongings. To help ensure the trust, be honest with your spouse in all things. Never keep secrets from each other, not even little ones.

10. Make it your aim to be your spouse’s best friend. Appreciate your spouse for who they are. Loosen up and have fun with each other. If you are practicing the steps above, you are on your way to being your spouse’s best friend ?



16th - 17th September
Sunday September 17th 2006, 9:55 pm
Filed under: Jurnal

Img_3037 heheh… packed weekend for me.. as usual la kan.. dah berapa Img_3039 minggu dah week end mcik penuh dgn activities. Ada aje rancangan nyer…Umah sendiri dah macam tongkang pecah.. balik keje niat nak kemas umah.. Img_3034 tapi penat punyer pasal.. pandang jer la… ingat this coming week end dapat lah mengemas… rupanya tak dapat gak.. al-maklum…week end ni kira first day posa.. so kalu first day posa, mcik kena buka posa umah keluarga… adus..adus.. adus..

Img_3042 ari sabtu tu mcik ada kenduri. Abah buat kenduri tahlil dan sempena menyambut ramadhan sekali gus… menu?.. heheh… menu utama.. ada sambal udang, ikan tenggiri masak kari, ayam Img_3043 goreng berempah, sayur campur, ulam-ulaman, sambal belacan.. kuih muih lak.. ada kuih kole kacang, karipap, kek pisang.. ada jugak tauhu sumbat..cendawan goreng tepung.. ada buah tembikai.. air sirap.. teh tarik..

Img_3023 Img_3024 Img_3025

Img_3028 Img_3030 Img_3029 Img_3026 Img_3027

Sedap?.. tak Sedap?.. ces…musti sedap la.. see the leg maaaaa…. kang zast kang!!… teruk2 kita orang adik beradik, (campur bibik) kemas umah.. masak.. mo pengsan… Abis kenduri.. abis je kemas.. mcik terus cari katil tidorrrrrrrrrrrrrr… sampai pagi.. badan teramat letih..

Img_3033 esok nyer lak mcik p pasar tani dgn long.. bawak nabiha, una, and peyus. Sampai kat pasar, long n mcik berpecah. Long bawak nabiha n una, while peyus dgn mcik. Last2 kita orang jumpa balik kat kete. Rupanya.. nabiha n una frust n tensen sbb tak dpt ikut mcik.. hahahha.. tau apa alasan?.. "kalu ikut mak de ( mcik ler tu) sure dpt mcm2!!".. heheheheh… ikut long dpt ice cream jer.. hahahahah… peyus la untung.. sbb dia ikut mcik!

ooo ye… kat pasar.. mcik beli perut bat-bat… tak tau apa org pangey… ada org pangey perut towel … mcm2 nama la… Lagi beli kepala ikan merah!.. masak kari sedap ni!.. beli lala.. cili merah.. cili api… sayur2 sket..

balik umah.. tghari tu mcik masak rebung taruk perut (yg beli pasar  pagi tu..). Masak lemak cili api!!… Sedap.. pekat lak tu kuah.. pedas.. nala nyer sedap!!.. dapat lak ikan masin.. sambal belacan.. wadusssssssssss…

terlupa lak nak bg tau.. pagi tu breakfast dgn nasi impit, kuah kacang and lontong. Sedap.. biasa la.. air tangan mak.. mana boleh tak sedap kan…



WHY?????
Wednesday September 13th 2006, 6:56 pm
Filed under: Jurnal
  • Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
  • Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they already know you don’t have enough money?
  • Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check with their finger when you say the paint is wet?
  • Why doesn’t glue stick to the bottle?
  • Why does the government require that only sterilized needles be used for death by lethal injection?
  • Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
  • Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
  • Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
  • Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
  • If people evolved from apes, did some apes choose not to evolve?
  • Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
  • Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
  • Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
  • Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
  • Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the top end on your first try?
  • How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
  • When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It’s all right?" Well, it isn’t all right, so why don’t we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
  • Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that’s falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
  • In Winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in the Summer, when we complained about it being too hot?
  • How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
  • And my FAVORITE…… Statistics on sanity show that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends — if they’re okay, then… it’s you.


Day 14th September
Wednesday September 13th 2006, 6:53 pm
Filed under: Jurnal

em… kurangd ari dua minggu … kita akan menyambut bulan ramadhan.. korang dah abis ganti posa ker?..heheh.. jangan tak ganti..tak baik!.. berdosa.. eheheh..

ni ada citer… tak tau la kan.. hangin tah mana datang.. tetiba sesorang tu boleh start kurang ajar.. dah la tu pasan tak sudah.. ntah bila kita ckp pasal dia.. dia kata kita yg cakap utk dia.. mcik jadik kompius.. dah tu ckp kat org lain dia ada mintak mahap kat mcik.. seingat mcik ler.. tak pulak mcik terima kan.. kalu ada betui la dia mintak mahap.. kejam benor la mcik ni kalu nak simpan dendam.. simpan hangin sebab benda kecek2… yang mcik heran… kenapa setiap perkataan tu kena di tutur kan secara kasar??.. kita ada berkasar ker dengan dia?. tak tau la kalu dia yg terpasan dgn stmt general mcik.. muahahah.. malas la mo pk.. kot la orang bunting mmg sensitip lebih..cepat tersentap… akhirnya.. mcik biarkan… tak mati pun…

A first-grade teacher, Ms Neelam (Age 28) was having trouble with one of her students

The teacher asked, "Boy what is your problem?"
Boy answered, "I’m too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"

Ms Neelam had enough. She took Boy to the principal’s office.
While Boy waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms Neelam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. She agreed.

Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3×3?"
Boy: "9"
Principal: "What is 6×6?"
Boy: "36"
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks at Ms Neelam and tells her, "I think Boy can go to the third-grade."

Ms Neelam says to the principal, "I have some of my own questions. Can I ask him?" The principal and Boy both agree.
Ms Neelam asks: "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
Boy, after a moment "Legs"!
Ms Neelam: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
Boy: "Pockets"!
Ms Neelam: "What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?"
Boy: Coconut
Ms Neelam: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"
The principal’s eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Boy was taking charge.
Boy: Bubblegum
Ms Neelam: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?"
The principal’s eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer…
Boy: Shake hands

Ms Neelam: "Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?"
Boy: "Yep"
Ms Neelam: "You stick! Your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do."
Boy: "Tent"
Ms Neelam: "A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you’re bored.
The best man always has me first."
The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.
Boy: "Wedding Ring"
Ms Neelam: "I come in many sizes. When I’m not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good."
Boy: "Nose"
Ms Neelam: "I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver."
Boy: "Arrow"
Ms Neelam: "What word starts with a ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ that means lot of heat and excitement?"
Boy: "Firetruck"
Ms Neelam: "What word starts with a ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ & if u don’t get it u have to use your hand"
Boy: "Fork"

Ms Neelam: "What is it that all men have one of it’s longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn’t use his and a man gives it to his wife after! They’re married?"
Boy: "SURNAME"

Ms Neelam: "What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love?"
Boy: "HEART"



Day 11th September
Sunday September 10th 2006, 10:39 pm
Filed under: Jurnal

hectic nyer week end mcik.. betui2 memenatkan badan..hari jumaat lepas maghrib mcik terus shhot balik klang.. tapi before that mcik singgah Selangor Medical Center.. tengok Fairus Hanani.. anak sedara mcik, dia masuk spital sbb demam panas.. kencing pun ada infection sket.. cian tengok dia. melepek jer… lps tu mlm p blk klang…

esok nyer pagi pagi buta dah bangun.. nak kena p umah andak kat Bangi.. nak naik rombongan makcik kiah ke Johor bahru..anto adik sepupu lak kawen.. nak jadik citer menarik.. mcik boleh terlepas simpang 2 kali!!.. berpusing2 mcik jadik nyer.. sampai ke putrajaya segala.. lawak lawak.. abah dah bising… mcik ni kalu abah dah bising.. mula aaa ada hangin sket nak drive kete ni.. hehehhe…

tambah hangin mcik lagik.. konon bas nak gerak kul 8… kul 9.30 baru bas tiba!!.. mcik ni punyer ler tekan minyak sbb takut terlambat…smp sesat barat jdnyer…

ni bonus tambah hangin mcik lagik… sampai umah lelaki kat JB tu around 1.15.. tgk2 umah jer… mcik dah tertanya2. ada kenduri kawen ker umah ni.. punyer la sunyi umah tu.. khemah ada satu jer!.. tak der bunga manggar.. tak der kompang.. pengantin tgu depan pintu ..pakai baju kurung baisa jer.. isk.. bior benor!!.. MEMANG BENOR!!.. cian nasib adik sedara mcik tu..heheh… makan tak sedap plak tu..tapi sbb dah lapar.. belasah jer la..

kul 3.45 kami sumer gerak balik… yg mcik jadik pening pala.. makcik2 dalam bas tu mula nak singgah ayr hitam la.. tangkak la.. nilai 3 la.. aiyooooooooooo… punggung mcik dah kebas duk dalam bas!!… dah le asik nak benti semua RnR yg ada tepi jalan tu.. nasib ler arah selatan ni RnR kurang sket.. kalu cam arah utara.. mo mcik sendiri drive bas tu!!…

Singgah ayer itam konon nak beli pasu.. tapi mcik tengok dia orang ni borong sayur batang keladi la.. keladi.. pulasan.. duku langsat.. cempedak champion… pasu tak ada pun belinyer!!!

ari ahad lak.. lepas bekpes.. mcik p Sg Sembilang, Jeram, Kole Selangor. Wan Cik mcik buat kenduri cukur jambul, plus sambut menantu baru yg jauh. Apa tu?.. heheh.. mak sedara mcik sorang ni duk Amsterdam.. ni dia kawen suami baru.. orang Amsterdam la.. so buat kenduri besar2an.. ada potong2 kek.. makan adap… mmg grand la.. dan meriah!.. menu dia lagi meriah.. ada acar ikan dan temu, rendang kerang, kari udang, dalca, kambing rendang, daging masak kicap… marveles makan!!..kenyang ooooooo….Siap tapau acar ikan dgn temu..sbb ni peveret mcik… mkn ngan ikan pekasam pun marveles betui!… nasi panas2… isk..isk..sedap!



Keliru
Thursday September 07th 2006, 5:40 pm
Filed under: Jurnal
Sesuatu berlaku di fikiranku
Berkali cuba ku lupa, masih membelenggu
Apa yang ada padanya hingga ku tetap setia?
Tuhan tolong diriku lenyapkan segalanya

Aku keliru dengan cintamu
Berubah-ubah sikapmu
Mengapa kau buat aku begitu?
Aku terkeliru cinta kita bagai tiada perasaan
Bagaikan dah tiada percintaan

Diriku terbelenggu bayangan lalu
Kau terus memburu
Mindaku kan terganggu
Bayangan dulu buat ku keliru

Sesuatu berlaku di fikiranku
Berkali cuba ku lupa, masih membelenggu
Apa yang ada padanya hingga ku tetap setia?
Tuhan tolong diriku lenyapkan segalanya

Aku terkurung dalam bayangmu
Kasihmu dulu ku rindu
Walaupun segalanya tak menentu
Jauhkanlah dirimu!
Sering buat ku keliru
Ku hapuskan pancaroba cinta engkau dan aku

Diriku terbelenggu bayangan lalu
Kau terus memburu
Mindaku kan terganggu
Bayangan dulu buat ku keliru

Aku terkeliru
Terkurung dalam bayangan lalu
Semalaman celaru fikiran
Ku menjadi mangsa dalam percintaan
Kerana kau penuh dengan kepura-puraan
Telah ku terima ujian kehidupan
Dugaan terkena godaan
Wahai perempuan, dengarlah insan
Dengar ku katakan
Ku pasti kau kan temui pembalasan



A cute love story
Thursday September 07th 2006, 5:24 pm
Filed under: Jurnal


"A boy had cancer and he had only one month to live.
He liked a girl working in a CD shop very much, but he
Didn’t tell her about his luv. Everyday he used to go
To CD shop and buy a CD to talk her. After a month he
Died. When the girl went to his house and asked about
Him, his mom told her that he died and took her to his
Room and she saw all the CDs unopened and the girl
Cried. You know why? ……..

She had kept her own luv letter inside the CD pack
Bcoz she also loved him."



Day 8th September
Thursday September 07th 2006, 5:19 pm
Filed under: Jurnal

Waduh waduh waduh.. ini batuk makin menyesak kan dada ku!!!.. heehehhe… penat batuk ler.. tido malam pun tak lena… dapat ubat batuk yg pecahkan kahak… la ni dok berkahat HIJAU!!… pagi2 mesti kuarkan…isk..isk..lama dah tak kena btuk berkahak mcm ni.. tu ler.. orang dah banyak kali nasihat benti… tak benti2 gak..degil bkn main!… hehehehe..

Semalam, ujan punya la lebat… banjir gak office mcik ni.. ala tu pun di sebabkan longkang yang tersumbat.. muahaha.. kalu tak tersumbat..tak ada banjirnya..tapi ujan memang lebat… masa drive balik tu kena extra berhati-hati… takut gak beb!.. tapi yang mcik geram.. ni kenderaan yang lain. Depa menten laju.. especially kete2 yang besar bagak tu.. kalu potong kete lain.. tak pikir kot air merecik. Ni boleh membuat penglihatan terganggu… tu yang boleh accident tu.. kalu orang terkejut dgn simbahan air… tu tak masuk lagi dengan kecuaian pemandu2 tu.. bawak kenderaan laju2… dalam keadaan jalan yang licin.. penglihatan yang terhad.. mula la .. sondol kete depan.. berpusing  atas jalan ka.. rempuh divider ka.. isk..isk.. kalu depa ni semua nak mati.. pegi la..jangan lak babitkan pemandu lain kan.. isk..isk..betui la…

—-

Making Love Out Of Nothing At All

I know just how to whisper,
And I know just how to cry;
I know just where to find the answers;
And I know just how to lie.
I know just how to fake it,
And I know just how to scheme
; I know just when to face the truth,
And then I know just when to dream.
And I know just where to touch you,
And I know just what to prove;
I know when to pull you closer,
And I know when to let you loose.
And I know the night is fading,
And I know that time’s gonna fly;
And I’m never gonna tell you everything
I’ve got to tell you,
But I know I’ve got to give it a try.
And I know the roads to riches,
And I know the ways to fame;
I know all the rules
And then I know how to break ‘em
And I always know the name of the game.
But I don’t know how to leave you,
And I’ll never let you fall;
And I don’t know how you do it,
Making love out of nothing at all
Out of nothing at all.
Every time I see you all the rays of the sun
Are streaming through the waves in your hair;
And every star in the sky is taking aim
At your eyes like a spotlight,
The beating of my heart is a drum, and it’s lost
And it’s looking for a rhythm like you.
You can take the darkness from the pit of the night
And turn into a beacon burning endlessly bright.
I’ve got to follow it, ’cause everything I know,
well it’s nothing till I give it to you.

I can make the run or stumble,
I can make the final block;
And I can make every tackle,
at the sound of the whistle,
I can make all the stadiums rock.
I can make tonight forever,
Or I can make it disappear by the dawn;
And I can make you every promise that has ever been made,
And I can make all your demons be gone.
But I’m never gonna make it without you,
Do you really want to see me crawl?
And I’m never gonna make it like you do,
Making love out of nothing at all.

———–
Harapan

Doaku agar kaukan selalu bahagia,
Agar kau temui insan tulus menyayangimu,
Lepaskanlah diriku kerna keredhaanmu,
Bukan kerna dendam jua bukan kerna kau terpaksa,

Ku tinggalkan memori bersamamu,
Kuundur diri bersama harapan.

Tidak kesampaian cinta kita,
Kubawa harapan kupendam rahsia,
Ku dikejauhan mendoakan,
Agar kau bahgia tiada lagi duka.
Daku rela mengundur diri,
Ku pasti dikaukan fahami …

Tiada penyesalan kasihku korbankan
Andai telah tertulis kuterima ini bukannya kupinta,
Oh pergilah dikau diiringi keikhlasanku,
Cuma pengalaman mengisi kekosongan mimpiku…



Fakta-fakta Selepas Perkahwinan
Wednesday September 06th 2006, 10:54 pm
Filed under: Jurnal

Bila wujud perkahwinan, tidak semesti semuanya ok dan bahagia. Ada banyak perkara yang boleh mengubah tanggapan kita dan kita perlu banyak bersabar.

Di bawah ini ada beberapa perkara melalui pengalaman masyarakat kita dan tanggapan mengenai perkahwinan dan pengalamannya selepas berkahwin.

1. Berkahwin tidak bermakna anda tidak akan keseorangan lagi.

"Saya dan suami baru sahaja mengikuti kaunseling. Tiada apa-apa yang drastik cuma kami dapat rasakan bahawa kami semakin berjauhan dari segi emosi dan fizikal. Jiwa semakin terasa keseorangan. Nasib baik kami berdua cepat sedar dan sanggup mendapatkan bantuan daripada mengambil tindakan yang bertentangan."

2. Berkahwin tidak bermakna anda akan berasa menyintai atau dicintai setiap hari.

"Kebahagiaan dalam perkahwinan tidak berlaku sekelip mata kerana masalah tentu akan timbul. Ada masalah besar dan ada yang kecil. Kadangkala anda akan merasakan diri sudah tidak dicintai." Amat penting bagi masing-masing mengucapkan perasaan cinta dan mencintai.

3. Anda masih perlu menghangatkan suasana.

"Kami suami isteri mempunyai kerjaya yang sangat sibuk dan jarang dapat meluangkan masa bersama. Untuk mengelakkan perasaan seperti teman sebilik sahaja, kami cuba terapkan kebiasaan untuk memeluk antara satu sama lain dan bercerita setiap malam sebelum melelapkan mata."

4. Perkahwinan adalah sesuatu yang menyeronokkan.

"Saya dan isteri amat menyenangi kehadiran masing-masing. Kami gemar bergelak ketawa bersama, bergurau dan mengusik. Setiap hari ada sahaja SMS yang dihantar… kadang kala lawak jenaka dan ada juga mesej berunsur seks nakal."

5. Lazimnya salah seorang akan lebih banyak berkorban.

"Mana ada yang seratus peratus adil pembahagiannya. Selalunya isteri akan lebih banyak berkorban terutamanya dari segi kerjaya. Kadang-kala ada yang terpaksa melepaskan kenaikan pangkat kerana tidak ingin rumahtangga kucar-kacir."

6. Pasangan anda akan berubah mengikut masa.

Anda harus menerima kenyataan bahawa masing-masing akan berubah mengikut masa. Kadang-kalanya dari segi perangai, rupa paras , bentuk badan dan hobi. Tiada orang yang akan kekal sama seperti mana mula-mula berkenalan dahulu.

7. Anda tidak semestinya akan bersetuju dalam semua perkara.

Suami akan tetap mahu menggunakan wang bonus untuk membesarkan garaj manakala isteri inginkan sofa baru. Terimalah hakikat bahawa masing-masing ada keinginan yang berbeza. Yang penting tolak ansur-mungkin bonus tahun ini mengikut kehendak isteri manakala bonus tahun depan untuk suami pula.

8. Semakin lama berkahwin semakin bahagia.

Pasangan yang memahami kehendak masing-masing dan mengamalkan tolak ansur dalam kebanyakan perkara sepanjang mereka berkahwin, lazimnya akan berjaya melawan badai atau apa-apa masalah. Mereka inilah yang dapat menikmati kemanisan berumahtangga. Sememangnya pasangan ini adalah "soulmate" masing-masing.

9. Hubungan seks ada turun naiknya.

Kadang kala sangat berkesan dan ada kalanya tidak begitu memberansangkan.Masing-masing seharusnya menerima bahawa ianya bergantung kepada "mood" dan keadaan sekeliling.

10. Perasaan Ego yang berlebihan adalah amat berbahaya.

Apabila perselisihan terjadi, masing-masing menjadi begitu sensitif dan mementingkan ego. Jika terlampau mengikut ego, anda mungkin akan memanjangkan masalah yang kecil. Elakkan daripada menyimpan perasaan marah terlalu lama kerana pasangan anda mungkin akan berubah hati. Sanggupkah anda?



Day 7th September
Wednesday September 06th 2006, 9:46 pm
Filed under: Jurnal

kong kong kong kong… tu ler bunyi batuk mcik sekarang ni!… muahahha… cam bunyi king kong lak!.. ahahha… teruk batuk.. sakit tekak..sakit dada.. sumer sakit… bila nak tido payah!!… standby air sebotol besar tepi katil.. yg paling tak tahan tu bila tekak gatal gilak!!.. Doctor?.. dah p jumpa… dah berbotol ubat mcik tunggang… tak jugak hilang batuk.. ni la akibat bila minum air batu tak hingat dunia!!.. Bila mcik tunggak air batu?.. tu..tu..masa kenduri kawen adik sedara tu… nasi tak mkn.. tapi air batu… bergelen2 masuk perut.. lalu anak tekak mcik ni..camner tak batuk king kong sekarang ni… dada pun dah rasa semput.. ada yg mc kang.. heheheh ( alasan baguih tu…)…

ni mcik nak ckp pasal stmt sorang budak ni dlm Yahoogroups mcik..KLM. Dia kata Melayu ni bodoh??!!! Korang rasa camner?.. Melayu ni bodoh ker?

"isu ni tak kan timbul kalau takde penonton MELAYU BODOH yg menonton rancangan tv MELAYU yg BODOH.

ORANG MELAYU…semakin lama semakin BODOH."

"kalau perhatikan betul2…
artis tu bukan nya ade ape2 pun, belajar pun ******.
tp pihak media promote lebih2 jer.
tu semua taktik bisnes nak kayakan pihak2 tertentu yg nak kaut keuntungan.
contoh seperti mawi & siti…
ape hasil sumbangan pada org melayu…boleh dikatakan menerima hasil
sumbangan dari org2 MELAYU yg **** ni ade ler.

siti lak bocor rahsia disebalik hasil kejayaan selama ni…
datuk K bg lubang bisnes utk siti…sebagai pulangan siti lak bg ******
kt datuk K"

dedua quotes tu dari En. Labu Labi jebatt@gmail.com

(feel free to email to him..and say wut u feel and think..)

ada bahasa dia mcik sensored sket la… hehehe… pada mcik la.. melayu ni bukan bodoh… cuma tak der kesedaran jer.. melayu ni cepat lupa..cepat melatah.. kesedaran tu mmg tak ada pun… sbb pada mcik dari kesedaran tu baru timbulnya cerdik ni nnt!…  Kalu melayu tu bijak..tapi tak ada kesedaran..tak kemana jugak.. bukan boleh membantu pun.. menjahanam kan lagi ada la… Abis tu?.. perlu cerdik utk maju?..



The Beauty Of A Woman
Monday September 04th 2006, 10:23 pm
Filed under: Jurnal
Author: Ardem
The beauty of a woman
Is not in the clothes she wears,
The figure that she carries,
Or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman
Must be seen from her eyes,
Because that is the doorway to her heart,
The place where love resides.

The beauty of a woman
Is not a facial mole,
But true beauty in a woman
Is reflected in her soul.

It is the caring she lovingly gives,
The Passion that she shows.
The beauty of a woman with passing years –
Only grows and grows